Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Did you have to hint at your husband to propose to you?

Did your boyfriend propose by himself? or did you have to give hints? and if so what did you do to make your point come through to him? I have been with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years now and on our 3 years I would love for him to propose but I don't know how to get my point across but I also don't want to rush him, or put pressure on him I just kind of want to know if he feels he same. We talk about getting married someday and he says all the time im going to be his wife someday but that doesn't tell me if he ready now or if he needs many more years... nd an other question how long do you think is too long to wait for your boyfriend to propose? Some people say if you let it go for too long they wont get married to you because they have it all anyways with out the marriage.Did you have to hint at your husband to propose to you?
My fiance and I talked about marriage A LOT before we got engaged. I knew the proposal was inevitable, because we made big decisions together on the pretense that we were getting married. In order to make some of these decisions (ie. buying a house together, what bases for him to request postings to for his career in the military, where I would settle to start my own career, etc) we had to come right out and tell each other what our intentions were about a year into the relationship. Once that was out in the open, and we knew we wanted to get married some day, and he knew that I preferred to get married a year after I graduated, then he knew what I wanted out of our relationship and I knew that he was well aware and would propose in his own time.





Just let your partner know what you would like to see happen, and then let him propose when he is ready.Did you have to hint at your husband to propose to you?
We dated for 1 year and during that time we both talked about marriage and kids, etc. Well one day, we started to look at engagement rings.





Actually, we NEVER asked will you marry me? We're married 21 yrs. with 2 teens!





I don't know how old you are. I got married when I ask 30 yrs. old. How long to wait? That's up to you and how long you can tolerate.





Don't push him.
i didn't hint... i said... either we are getting married or i am moving on... i do not intend to remain unmarried the rest of my life. mind you, i didn't say this at 2 years or even 3 but after 6!!! he proposed to me on my birthday this year may 13... six months or so after my little speech to him...
No. I asked him. :)
I feel like I know what you are talking about. I am engaged to a man who was also a fan of the phrase ';someday';. To be perfectly honest ';someday'; just started to drive me crazy. I suggest that next time you talk about it just honestly ask him what someday means. Start talking about what you want out of life (marriage, kids, etc). I waited 5 1/2 years for my proposal, but we were young and still in school. If the two of you are old enough to get married then I say start getting him to talk about what his five year plan is. Its just so hard to wait for ';someday';
Not all guys delay proposing because they already ';have it all.'; Some just need a little extra time to get their heads around the idea of ';forever,'; and once they do, they are fine.





I had one specific conversation with my now-husband about getting married, and that was when we had been dating for 2 years. I told him that I was bummed he hadn't proposed yet because I was in my late 30s, and he is 10 years older, and we needed to get started if we intended to have kids. Then I shut up and left the rest up to him. It took him another year to be ready to propose. (His parents had a rough marriage -- alcoholism and infidelity, which I suspect had something to do with his hesitation). It was hard to be patient, but I knew there was zero percentage in hinting or applying pressure. He just needed the time to get himself mentally ready and financially stable.





We've now been married almost 5 years.





Good luck.
We decided together. It was kind of his idea. I was figuring we wouldn't get married until we were 24-25 since that's just typical and we weren't even talking about it seriously yet so that was just when I ballparked it in my head, and I got all upset one day and was like, ';but I wanted to have a few years of marriage together before we have any kids and if we get married at 25 I'll be like 27 before we can even think about having kids, and I want lots of kids and don't want to still be having them into my 30's THE WORLD IS GOING TO END'; and he was like ';...uhhhh... so why don't we just get married sooner?'; Duh. We talked about it for a few more months and decided we'd announce a formal engagement in a year or so when we have enough money saved to actually book our vendors and set a date. We'll be getting married when we're 22. He's still going to get a ring and surprise me with when I get it, but I know it's coming and approximately when because we decided together.





Why don't you just ask him when he sees himself getting married? It's not a big deal to just ask, that's a big step in life and I can't imagine being in a serious, longterm relationship with someone and having no idea when they want to get married-- some people want to get married in their early 20's, some not until their 30's, isn't it easier to discuss it so you can be on the same page?

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